DFW Drums Blog

Mike's blog of things relating to Dallas/ Ft. Worth's Live Music Community and especially Drums!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Your worst audition...and the rules to auditioning

Oh, I've had a few. Had one Friday night in fact. It was bad, but it wasn't the "worst." I guess I should define "bad" and "worse". "Bad" is when you know you're not gonna get the gig even before you unpack no matter how you play. "Worse" is busting important rules even though you know it's gonna be a "bad" audition.
I'll tell you about Friday in a minute, but first let me tell you about the "worst' audition I've ever been on. I busted my first rule by driving more than 50 miles to get there. That's 100 miles round-trip (about $10 in gas at today's price) The band did provide a drum kit which was nice and they gave me 4 or 5 songs in which to prepare. So, I walk into the studio and waited for the rest of the band. Then as they start showing up, I noticed no one brought instruments. "This ought to be interesting". Then they spring it on me. They want me to play to music they've previously recorded. What?
Yeah. My audition was the band sitting on a sofa watching me play to music they've recorded. Now, I thought I'd seen everything but this was a first for me. I'm so confused and put off, I just knock out some simple riffs and call it a night. What these "phi beta kappa's" didn't and possibly still don't realize is that auditions are two-way streets. When I go to an audition, I know I'm being judged on my skills, my chops, my stage presence, my meter, and any number of tangible and intangible qualities. but I'm also judging them as well...which makes it kinda tough if they're not actually playing their instruments too. Needless to say, we parted ways that evening.
OK, the audition Friday...the "bad" one. First, I broke two of my most important, cardinal rules by agreeing to audition with less than 24 hours notice. The dude was supposed to send me a list of tunes to work on the night before but he sent the list to himself instead! I got the list the next morning, downloaded all the tunes and listened to them through-out the day. Never got a chance to actually play the songs and should have cancelled the audition, but I really thought I could pull it off.
Busted rule number 2 also...auditioning without the full band....AND I brought my big stage kit. So, not only did I go in and set up knowing the gig wasn't happening but I played with minimal players and yes, it was disastrous.
All of which leads me to devise a list of a few basic rules for auditioning drummers:

1) Know who you are auditioning. I provide a very detailed description of myself and my skills on my web site. My pictures are prominently displayed as well. I don't publicly state my age, but I'm exactly the same age as Carter Beauford (if you're really dying to know) If you're looking for a 25 year old, blonde with speed metal kick chops who looks great playing without a shirt, don't call me for an audition.
Also, the studio tracks on my site are digitally manufactured, processed, equalized, engineered and edited. Yes, I played them...all of them, but don't expect me to sound exactly like them in your studio. If you've spent any time in a studio environment, you realize that engineers and producers ultimately determine how each instrument sounds.

2) Give me adequate time to prepare for an audition. I know a lot of songs and I can learn very quickly, but you are probably not my only audition this week. Plus I may be subbing for another band and learning songs for the band I'm in. I take a lot of pride in my performance regardless of the venue and I want to play my best for you. Please provide a reasonable list of songs and a reasonable amount of time for me to prepare.

3) If the entire band is not there, it's not an audition. I'm judging you too. It's just not fair to expect me to sound my best when vocalists or keys aren't there. Need I say more?

4) Provide ample time for the set up, audition and tear down...especially when you have more than one drummer showing up. It's just not reasonable to expect one drummer to be out and the next one set up in 30 minutes. I don't like or appreciate being shoved out the door anymore so than I appreciate having to wait 30 minutes after my appointed time for the last drummer to finish packing.

5) Give us some room. Whichever kit I bring has a foot-print of 70 square feet. Clear a path for me if I'm expected in the back of the room and don't forget I have cases to store. I'll move as fast as I can, but please help clear out some space for me. Not doing so speaks volumes about how much you really want me there.

6) Be truthful for Christs sake. I will! If the bands not for me, I'll tell you right there. If I'm not what you're looking for, tell me. I'm a big boy, I can take it. Besides, it may eliminate the need for me to tell you. I don't play games and I don't like anyone playing games with me.

7) Give me a hand with the gear. I'll pack it in the cases and I'll pack it in the car, but I would sure appreciate a little help getting it there. Most everything is on wheels, so no danger in hurting yourself. It just says "thanks for coming out".

8) I don't smoke, do drugs or drink. I don't care if you do or not, but please don't near me or my kit and don't let it affect your ability to play.

9) Be prepared. This is not a rehearsal session, it's an audition. Singers should know or have lyrics. People should know the songs. I've worked very hard to know what I'm supposed to do. You and your people should know what they're doing too. Remember, I've been working with the original recording, so my expectations are at least that high.

10) Be respectful. I know what an audition is. But if you want me to play something specific, know how to ask for it using music lingo that is generally understood and used. I can't read your mind and I don't understand what you want if you can't communicate it to me in musical language. Simply stated, I won't be able to play accents when you point to me. I'll need to know, for example that you prefer accents "on the and of 1".

11) Leave your ego out of the audition and I promise that I will too.

Anyone else? Please submit your additions to the list.