Making the Big Bucks!

I met with some very nice people last night who are looking for a drummer to fill-in and maybe become a permanent player in their "classic rock" band. From previous posts, I've already expressed my feelings about "cr" projects. I've not only "been there, done that", but I haven't witnessed any changes in the "cr" environment here in the DFW area in the past 3 or 4 years. In fact, it appears things have gotten worse. More clubs have closed and those that are open or have re-opened seem to be paying bands less than they were 3 or 4 years ago.
Supply and demand is at work here in a big way. These guys--the ones I met with last night-- have 6 pieces in the band and have gigs booked for $300 or $400 per night. I don't know what pisses me off more. Clubs that won't pay a decent nights wage for a band or the bands that agree to play for--what amounts to poverty wages. In some cases they end up with bar tabs that cost them much more than they earn. But that's all part of the clubs ultimate plan.
Shall we break it down? Let's say I agreed to fill-in for the $400 gig. It's an obvious money losing proposition, even without a bar tab.
They rehearse 33 miles from my house (66 miles round trip). If I rehearsed with them 5 times, I would drive 330 miles. That's exactly the capacity of my fuel tank at $50 per tank. Now if I get my cut of $400 split 6 ways, I'm banking $66.67 for the evening. I presume the band will play for 3 hours, but every gig is a 9 or 10 hour day for me. I start packing the kit at 5:00 p.m., drive to the gig about 40 miles away, unpack, set-up, sound check, eat dinner, play the gig, tear-down, pack, load, drive home and arrive about 3:00 a.m. That's 10 hours. Having already spent $50 just to rehearse and probably another $10 on gas to get to the gig and home again, I'm clearing $6.67 for the evening. That, my friends is $.67 per hour (without factoring in what I spent on the meal).
Before you tell me that there are things you do for love and things you do for money. I get that. I understand that. I get and understand that I will unlikely recoup a fraction of what I spent on musical gear. That's part of the rub.
I have filed schedule C's on my tax return each of the past 4 years in order to realize a loss due to equipment purchases. A lot of people do that. My accountant tells me, however that you can only do that for four years before the I.R.S. expects to see a profit. If they don't see a profit, they can disallow the previous losses, call it a hobby instead of a job and re-calculate your tax liability for the past four years. I'm pretty sure I would owe more than $.67!
Is that "real" enough for you?
I don't have anything against any genre of music, but I am bound by common sense, principles and my accountant to execute a little intellegence about accepting gigging situations.
A few weeks ago, a band called me to sub for them at the last minute. No time to rehearse. I don't normally like to do this, but it make a lot of fiscal sense TO do it. Another $400 gig, but only four pieces this time and they're paying a sound guy $50. So I spend some time at home learning a few songs that I don't know and on gig night I drive over set up and play. Another $10 on gas and a $6 hamburger are my only expenses. My cut is $87.50, so I bank $71.50. I was able to cram in the gig in 9 hours instead of the normal 10, so now I'm making $7.94 an hour. Now we're talking about BIG BUCKS!
I think I'm beginning to understand why more musicians only do "sub" work!

Your worst audition...and the rules to auditioning

Oh, I've had a few. Had one Friday night in fact. It was bad, but it wasn't the "worst." I guess I should define "bad" and "worse". "Bad" is when you know you're not gonna get the gig even before you unpack no matter how you play. "Worse" is busting important rules even though you know it's gonna be a "bad" audition.
I'll tell you about Friday in a minute, but first let me tell you about the "worst' audition I've ever been on. I busted my first rule by driving more than 50 miles to get there. That's 100 miles round-trip (about $10 in gas at today's price) The band did provide a drum kit which was nice and they gave me 4 or 5 songs in which to prepare. So, I walk into the studio and waited for the rest of the band. Then as they start showing up, I noticed no one brought instruments. "This ought to be interesting". Then they spring it on me. They want me to play to music they've previously recorded. What?
Yeah. My audition was the band sitting on a sofa watching me play to music they've recorded. Now, I thought I'd seen everything but this was a first for me. I'm so confused and put off, I just knock out some simple riffs and call it a night. What these "phi beta kappa's" didn't and possibly still don't realize is that auditions are two-way streets. When I go to an audition, I know I'm being judged on my skills, my chops, my stage presence, my meter, and any number of tangible and intangible qualities. but I'm also judging them as well...which makes it kinda tough if they're not actually playing their instruments too. Needless to say, we parted ways that evening.
OK, the audition Friday...the "bad" one. First, I broke two of my most important, cardinal rules by agreeing to audition with less than 24 hours notice. The dude was supposed to send me a list of tunes to work on the night before but he sent the list to himself instead! I got the list the next morning, downloaded all the tunes and listened to them through-out the day. Never got a chance to actually play the songs and should have cancelled the audition, but I really thought I could pull it off.
Busted rule number 2 also...auditioning without the full band....AND I brought my big stage kit. So, not only did I go in and set up knowing the gig wasn't happening but I played with minimal players and yes, it was disastrous.
All of which leads me to devise a list of a few basic rules for auditioning drummers:

1) Know who you are auditioning. I provide a very detailed description of myself and my skills on my web site. My pictures are prominently displayed as well. I don't publicly state my age, but I'm exactly the same age as Carter Beauford (if you're really dying to know) If you're looking for a 25 year old, blonde with speed metal kick chops who looks great playing without a shirt, don't call me for an audition.
Also, the studio tracks on my site are digitally manufactured, processed, equalized, engineered and edited. Yes, I played them...all of them, but don't expect me to sound exactly like them in your studio. If you've spent any time in a studio environment, you realize that engineers and producers ultimately determine how each instrument sounds.

2) Give me adequate time to prepare for an audition. I know a lot of songs and I can learn very quickly, but you are probably not my only audition this week. Plus I may be subbing for another band and learning songs for the band I'm in. I take a lot of pride in my performance regardless of the venue and I want to play my best for you. Please provide a reasonable list of songs and a reasonable amount of time for me to prepare.

3) If the entire band is not there, it's not an audition. I'm judging you too. It's just not fair to expect me to sound my best when vocalists or keys aren't there. Need I say more?

4) Provide ample time for the set up, audition and tear down...especially when you have more than one drummer showing up. It's just not reasonable to expect one drummer to be out and the next one set up in 30 minutes. I don't like or appreciate being shoved out the door anymore so than I appreciate having to wait 30 minutes after my appointed time for the last drummer to finish packing.

5) Give us some room. Whichever kit I bring has a foot-print of 70 square feet. Clear a path for me if I'm expected in the back of the room and don't forget I have cases to store. I'll move as fast as I can, but please help clear out some space for me. Not doing so speaks volumes about how much you really want me there.

6) Be truthful for Christs sake. I will! If the bands not for me, I'll tell you right there. If I'm not what you're looking for, tell me. I'm a big boy, I can take it. Besides, it may eliminate the need for me to tell you. I don't play games and I don't like anyone playing games with me.

7) Give me a hand with the gear. I'll pack it in the cases and I'll pack it in the car, but I would sure appreciate a little help getting it there. Most everything is on wheels, so no danger in hurting yourself. It just says "thanks for coming out".

8) I don't smoke, do drugs or drink. I don't care if you do or not, but please don't near me or my kit and don't let it affect your ability to play.

9) Be prepared. This is not a rehearsal session, it's an audition. Singers should know or have lyrics. People should know the songs. I've worked very hard to know what I'm supposed to do. You and your people should know what they're doing too. Remember, I've been working with the original recording, so my expectations are at least that high.

10) Be respectful. I know what an audition is. But if you want me to play something specific, know how to ask for it using music lingo that is generally understood and used. I can't read your mind and I don't understand what you want if you can't communicate it to me in musical language. Simply stated, I won't be able to play accents when you point to me. I'll need to know, for example that you prefer accents "on the and of 1".

11) Leave your ego out of the audition and I promise that I will too.

Anyone else? Please submit your additions to the list.